


In The Closet

by ButterflyGhost



Series: Comedies, crossovers, and other weird anomalies. [7]
Category: due South
Genre: Comedy, Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-08
Updated: 2012-08-08
Packaged: 2017-11-11 17:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/480932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyGhost/pseuds/ButterflyGhost
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray has a secret, and it's hiding in his closet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In The Closet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [look_turtles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/look_turtles/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Enemy Series](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/10710) by look_turtles. 



“Ray?”

 

There was a muffled curse, and the sound of a door, slamming. “Er, what Frase?”

 

“Are you all right in there?”

 

“Yeah, yeah... gimme a minute?”

 

Fraser took the suggestion literally, and started to count down. When sixty seconds had passed he opened the bedroom door. Ray was looking very dapper in his tuxedo, the bow-tie hanging loose around his neck. He grinned, pretending innocence. “Hi, Fraser...” he said, leaning nonchalantly with his back to the closet door...

 

No. Leaning with his whole body pressed against the closet door, as though to prevent it from opening – almost as though he was hiding something. There was a crash from within, and Ray tried, unsuccessfully, to pretend he hadn't heard it.

 

Fraser raised an eyebrow. “What's in the closet, Ray?”

 

“Er... there's nothing in the closet, Fraser.”

 

“Ah.” Ray's 'fixed in headlights' smile didn't shift. He didn't even tell Fraser off for saying 'ah.' That was suspicious. The whole thing was suspicious. “In that case, if there is 'no thing' in the closet, may I ask 'who' is in the closet?”

 

“Well, definitely not us, Fraser.” Ray's smile was as weak as the joke.

 

Fraser tutted, placed his hands on Ray's biceps, and moved him out of the way. The closet door swung open, and...

 

“Oh, Jeez..." Ray hid his face. "Sorry, Fraser.”

 

“Ah.” Fraser blinked. He'd seen stranger things in closets, but... “I was expecting snow.”

 

Ray stared at him, made an interrogatively 'hrrrn?' sound. Apparently Fraser's response was not what he had foreseen.

 

“So, Ray, do you mind introducing me to your friend?”

 

“Er... he's not my friend, Frase. He's, er, a tentacle monster.”

 

“Actually, I believe that he's a Grey. And technically he's not a he, but an it.” Fraser studied their guest with a questioning frown. “And... I don't see any tentacles.”

 

“Er...” Ray looked apologetic. “He kinda turns up when I'm having tie traumas.” He made a throttling gesture with his hand in illustration of the trauma in question.

 

“Oh, I see. Some kind of panic induced hallucination?”

 

“Uhm... well, yeah, I used to think so. Or, you know, hope so, cause who'd want that to be real?” Ray edged away from the closet. “But, if he's a hallucination, how come you see him too?”

 

“Ah, that would be a 'folie a deux.'”

 

“A fooly whatsit now?”

 

“It's French for 'we're as crazy as each other'.”

 

“That, er, that makes... no sense at all.”

 

Fraser stared at the alien in the closet, and the alien blinked, its lids shuttering sideways, as it stared back through huge black eyes. “Let me help you with your tie, Ray,” Fraser said calmly. The alien made an eerie click click noise, like a cricket, reaching angular joints to Ray's throat. Stern-faced, Fraser slammed the door on it, ignored the scratching and thumping from inside the closet, turned to Ray, and gently did up his bow-tie. The banging noises stopped. Fraser kept his hands on Ray's shoulders, until he'd stopped shaking, listened carefully, then smiled. He opened the closet door.

 

Nothing other than clothes swinging from hangers, and on Ray's side various items heaped up on the floor.

 

“See? No aliens.”

 

“Frase,” Ray said, cautiously, “next time we're invited to a wedding, or I gotta dress up or something, er, you do my tie, okay?”

 

“Certainly, Ray.”

 

“And... I'm sorry about the whole monster in the closet thing...”

 

“Ah, well.” Fraser cleared his throat, embarrassed, and tugged at his collar. “Truth be told, I have a few closet stories of my own. Did I ever tell you about the time...”

**Author's Note:**

> As look_turtles said, I was inspired by her Enemies Series, and she was inspired by the fic I wrote in response. "It's like the circle of life only with fanfic."
> 
> Check her stuff out! She's hilarious. :)


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